My Murderer My Love
by VividInk
Summary: I waste my night in tears, screaming out for you to love me... but I guess I could never replace her in your heart... because I'll never be good enough for you... Marthie oneshot!


**Title: My Murderer My Love**

_**A/N: I know some of you who know me were probably expecting another Final Fantasy story or maybe an update of 'Come Back To Me' but I had trouble falling asleep last night & this idea popped into my head. I haven't been able to get it off my mind since then so I thought I'd might as well write it and get it done with once and for all. **_

_**Short Summary: It's about a year after Martin left to be closer to Sandy and Aaron and since it had been a year, the Camdens would've expected Ruthie to have gotten over Martin completely. It's Valentine's Day and Simon, Rose, Sandy, Martin and Aaron make a surprise visit. **Takes place somewhere around there. _

_**P.S Ruthie's thoughts are in Italics.**_

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**February 14, 7.45 p.m.**

"_Why?" _Thought Ruthie, as she gazed down from the roof garden of her home. She felt empty on the inside, watching all of her family members and close family friends mingling around and enjoying Valentine's Day.

"_Why does it have to be this way? They say every one has a soul mate in life; some one to love and care for them, to give them a shoulder to cry on or a hug when they need it." _

Her entire family was there, even Matt, Sarah, Mary and Carlos. Everyone seemed to have someone to turn to, everyone but _Ruthie_.

"_I can't take this hurt any longer, I want to end it all, just make it stop. He was the one I wanted, he was all I ever asked for, but of course I could and would never have him."_

Ruthie looked out a little further and there he was, sure enough, broodingly handsome.

"Martin," breathed Ruthie, as recollections of the past swept upon her like waves upon the seashore. Hurt hit her heart like daggers as she remembered Martin Brewer, her first and only love.

"_I'm not angry with you anymore, I don't hate you; I love you. I wake up everyday, hoping that none of it had happened and that I'd see you there, right by my side. But that's a false hope, which will soon be diminished like a candle snuffed out by the piercing cold of the wind."_

Ruthie took a staggering breath as storms began to brew her eyes. She watched Martin silently from where she was, watching him laugh jovially as he carried his son. Sandy came up to him as he smiled at her and muttered something before they both laughed.

"_It makes me happy to see you enjoying your life with Sandy, but at the same time, it kills me. You've forgotten me, haven't you? You probably wouldn't even notice if I was gone,"_

Ruthie gently closed her eyes as the tears stung under her eyelids before they trickled aimlessly down her rosy cheeks. A cold zephyr blew past her, whipping her glossy brown locks about as she shivered slightly, wrapping her arms around herself.

Her attention was drawn to the shoebox which lay by her feet as she gently crouched down beside it and uncovering it. Knick-knacks of all sorts lay strewn inside the cardboard box; pictures, objects, paper pieces, each with a different story behind it.

The shoebox was priceless to Ruthie; a person could give her all the riches in the world in trade for the box, but Ruthie would _never_ give it up.

"_All my memories of you and I are all in here, the good and the bad times. I don't even know why I keep them, after all, you seem to have let go of every single memory of me since you left. I've never heard from you since a year ago, not a phone call, an email or a letter, nothing."_

Ruthie had told her mother that she'd be in her room if anyone needed her and her excuse for being away from the fun was that she was unwell. After all, what was a tiny lie amidst all her tears, hurt and anxiety over the young man she couldn't have?

Lightning struck and Ruthie winced a little at the bright flash, which was soon followed by the echoing sound of thunder. It only hit Ruthie then that the sky was darkening quickly as storm clouds gathered above Glenoake.

A lone rose remained held nimbly in her left hand as Ruthie gazed at it. It was the _last _rose. Ruthie had previously stripped the entire bush of all it's prized produce as she slowly tore each petal from each flower, contemplating whether Martin loved her or not.

"_Do you still care for me like you used to, Martin? Does your mind hold any trace of my being at all? **Have you ever loved me the way I love you?**"_

The brunette Camden ignored the fact that she had rose petals strewn all over the floor of the roof garden. The gentle breeze occasionally stirred up the luscious red petals, blowing them about for a mere moment before stopping, letting them fall like feathers onto the floor.

Lightning struck and thunder sounded a second time as raindrops fell from the sky, the cold drops of water pelting down onto the hazel-eyed girl, who felt too weak to move out of the wet.

Sounds of Ruthie's family hurrying into the house could be heard below as they hurried to flee from the falling drops of water. However, the heartbroken young girl remained sitting on the ledge as she let herself slowly get drenched by the rain.

Ruthie felt the pangs of hurt shoot through her chest as her knees buckled and she fell to the ground in a sitting position. Her right hand wandered to a picture, in the shoebox, which showed a smiling Martin hugging her, squashing her half to death in an attempt to give her a bear hug.

A small smile tugged at the corners of Ruthie's mouth as she traced her finger over the picture where Martin's face was.

"_I miss your beautiful smile. I miss your light green eyes that would beam at me whenever I made you laugh. I miss your touch, your hugs, the sound of your voice, I miss you."_

**The Camdens' living room 8.25 p.m.**

"Good thing we've cooked all the kebabs and chicken wings or dinner would've been soaked in the rain!" exclaimed Kevin as he tore through a chicken wing.

"Oh hush, all you care about is food," Lucy ticked off as she held Savannah's hand.

"It's really nice to see you two again!" exclaimed Annie as she hugged Martin and Sandy for a second time before noticing Aaron, "Oh wait, make that _three_ of you,"

"Where's Ruthie? I haven't seen her around since I got here," said Martin as he dabbed away some drool with a handkerchief from Aaron's chin.

Annie's expression turned sympathetic as she said, "Oh, she's not well. She said she felt dizzy and nauseas. She's been in bed since this afternoon. She's probably resting in her room,"

Martin nodded in understanding before returning his attention to his young son who was once again, laughing and playing with his father's spiky hair.

"Excuse me, Annie, but where's the toilet?" asked Sandy politely as the mother Camden directed her to the bathroom up the stairs since the one by the kitchen was engaged.

Sandy walked up to flights of stairs to the second floor where the toilet was before entering and using it. The young mother came out about a minute later and was about to go back down the stairs when a sob caught her attention.

Sandy's eyebrows furrowed slightly as she pricked her ears and listened out a little more. A few more sobs were heard and were followed by crying. It was rather hard to decipher if what she heard was sobbing or rain pattering against the roof but Sandy then heard a loud sniffle and knew something was definitely not right.

The young mother slowly ascended up the last flight of stairs leading to the roof garden and when she reached the top, she nearly gasped at what she saw.

There was Ruthie Camden, sitting drenched on the floor of the roof garden, surrounded by rose petals. She seemed to be crying so bitterly she was oblivious to the fact that Sandy was watching her.

Sandy wanted to interfere but didn't have the heart too as she watched the young girl sit amidst the rainfall, a whole cluster of pictures resting on her lap.

"_Martin, I love you, I need you. I want to end it all; it hurts too much for me to take! You were my everything and now that you're gone, I feel like I can't breathe!"_

Ruthie cried a little louder, her tears mixing in with the rain as she shivered under the pouring rain. The sky was crying and so was she.

"_If you choose to forget me like I was nothing to you, then maybe I should forget you too!"_

Sandy's hand flew to her mouth when she saw Ruthie take the whole cluster of pictures in hand and fling them up into the air, the pieces of paper memories fluttering downward.

It was all a blur of confusion to Sandy as she watched on. Ruthie, sitting in the rain and crying? Why would she intentionally sit in the rain and cry? Something was definitely amiss here.

The young mother's attention was drawn to the ground when a photo landed right by a nearby puddle in front of her. The truth then dawned upon her as she looked at the person in the photo, _Martin_.

Ruthie had gotten over Martin half a year ago, or did she?

Panic struck Sandy as she picked up the photo and raced back down the stairs and into the living room, which was filled with laughter and smiles.

Sandy screamed at the top of her lungs out of shock, which earned her everyone's attention.

Martin moved toward her and so did Annie who desperately tried to calm the young woman, "What's wrong honey, you look like you just saw a ghost!"

"Ruthie… roof top! Drenched… crying!" stammered Sandy as she tried to catch her breath.

"Wow wow, slow down. What about Ruthie?" asked Simon concerned as he pushed his way toward Sandy.

Remembering the photo she had picked up, Sandy held it up for everyone to see and within seconds, everyone was racing up the stairs.

Ruthie was now standing up as she cried bitterly and was now throwing the rest of the things in the shoebox around. She had thrown everything out of the shoebox and picked up the last object, which was a music box made of glass and clay.

The brunette gently opened it, wondering if she would hear its beautiful tune in the rain. Her question was answered as the tune began to play, the ballerina twirling around to the tune.

"_I remember when you gave this to me, on my 16th birthday. You said it was your mother's and that no other girl deserved to have it but me. I suppose that was all sweet talk then, huh? I guess there's no point in my keeping it now, seeing you've found someone else to love."_

Ruthie broke down once more, crying inconsolably and was about to smash the music box onto the floor when a voice rang out.

"Ruthie, honey, please!" begged Annie as she staggered out into the rain, tears welling up in her eyes as she stared at her devastated daughter.

Ruthie looked toward her mother, seeing the crowd of people by the roof garden doorway. She even saw Martin, who looked too stunned for speech.

Ruthie shook her head as more tears rolled down her cheeks, "Don't bother, m-mom. Nothing y-you say is g-going to make m-me change my m-mind!"

Everyone took in Ruthie's statement before they all gasped, realizing what she meant. Lucy was the first to say something, breaking the silence, "Ruthie, you can't be thinking of suicide!"

Ruthie looked own at the music box before saying, _"It's my o-only way out. I only w-wanted one young m-man, him and only him. I never a-asked God f-for anything else and y-yet he took t-that one young m-man I wanted, away from m-me. W-Why?"_

Everyone turned to look at Martin who hadn't taken his eyes off Ruthie since five minutes ago, when he saw the state, _he _had reduced her too, as she pined for him in the pouring rain.

"Martin," started Eric as he nodded toward the young Brewer, "You'd better tell her the truth, everything, before she does something rash."

Martin nodded as the crowd parted for him to enter the roof garden, "Ruthie,"

His voice was croaky and he cleared his throat before saying her name a second time, this time with more emotion, "Ruthie!"

Ruthie looked up at him, her face blotchy from crying, "N-No, don't come any closer!" Ruthie darted toward the ledge of the roof garden and sitting on it, putting one leg over the edge.

Martin froze in his tracks, hearing a distraught Annie cry out her daughter's name.

"Ruthie please, listen to me, don't do it!" exclaimed Martin as he looked at Ruthie in a begging way, he himself getting drenched in the rain.

The hazel-eyed girl just looked at the music box, a myriad of memories going through her mind as she remembered Martin.

"Why shouldn't I do it? I've been as good as dead for the past year so I'd might as well make it official!" yelled Ruthie as she cried, her hair sticking flat to her head.

Ruthie was shaking all over from the cold as she was wearing nothing but a thin long-sleeved shirt and jeans. Why shouldn't she do it? After all, if she didn't do it, she'd probably be miserable anyway.

"Ruthie, think of the people who care for you and love you, your family, your close friends, _me_," said Martin as he looked at her, almost crying himself as his heart ached to see her so frail and hopeless.

"I don't w-want your sweet talk right n-now! You're just saying t-that you care so I w-won't throw myself off t-the roof! Otherwise, you wouldn't give a damn about me! After all, you didn't give a damn about me for a year!"

"That's not true! I thought about you every day! Wondering if I should call you or not?"

"THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU? You left without even s-saying goodbye and I h-heard nothing from y-you throughout t-the past year!" screamed Ruthie as she looked at Martin, her eyes sparkling with pearly tears.

Martin took several steps forward before freezing again as Ruthie screamed at the top of her lungs, crying, before putting her other leg over the ledge, leaving both legs dangling.

"Ruthie! P-Please don't d-do this you're k-killing me!" screamed Martin as his own tears started to fall from his eyes.

"I'm k-killing _you_?" asked Ruthie as she turned to face him, "Tell you w-what, you murdered _me_ long ago! There's nothing l-left for m-me to live f-for! I lived my life on a f-false hope, hoping t-that maybe you'd s-someday come back f-for me but it was a l-lie! _You n-never c-cared!"_

"What? Of course I care for you, Ruthie! I LOVE YOU!" yelled Martin as he attempted to move toward her again but stopped when Ruthie pushed herself further over the ledge.

"D-Don't!" screamed Ruthie as she turned to look over the edge.

She was three stories above the ground and jumping off from such a height wouldn't be fatal, but she knew it wouldn't be the height that would kill her, but the electric fence that was stationed right below her.

"Daddy!" Came the startling cry of Aaron as the baby boy outstretched his arms toward his father.

Ruthie looked over at the baby boy, who seemed upset and even Sandy was close to tears as she watched Martin and her.

"_It's crystal clear now, isn't it? Even if you do love me we can never be together. Sandy and Aaron need you and you seem quite happy with her anyway. There's really no room for a seventeen year old like me."_

Everything around Ruthie seemed to have stopped as her whole world fell silent and even time seemed to be waiting for her.

"_It's now or never,"_

The brunette felt herself slowly inching forward before the shocking feeling of herself going over the edge overwhelmed her. Ruthie shut her eyes tight as she breathed the word 'goodbye', praying for her family and everyone else.

"NO! RUUUTHIIEEEEEE!" screamed Martin, his voice cracking as he dived forward, leaning over the ledge and catching hold of Ruthie's right forearm.

The brunette Camden felt the sudden tug and boldly looked up to see the love of her life clutching onto her, never wanting to let go.

Ruthie saw it in his eyes, the fear, the sadness, the sincerity and _love_. What had she been thinking while they were talking? Was she that deep into her sorrow that she had completely forgotten about everyone else?

Realizing she was an inch from death, Ruthie let out a blood-curdling scream as she caught hold of Martin's hand with her other arm.

"D-don't let go!" said Martin as he tried to pull her up, "Hang on! I won't let go of you! I promise!"

Ruthie's arm was slipping from Martin's grasp and she started crying again as she stared desperately up at him, "_I l-love you! _I'm sorry,"

A wave of determination swept over Martin as he used all the strength he had to pull her up a little, catching her waist before giving one last heave and pulling her back to safety.

Martin toppled over onto his back, clutching a crying Ruthie tight to him as she cried uncontrollably into the crook of his neck.

"W-what the hell were you t-thinking?" asked Martin as tears trickled down the sides of his face, burying his face into Ruthie's wet hair.

Ruthie swallowed and answered, stuttering, "I was t-thinking of- of y-you,"

Annie and Eric rushed over, helping the both of them up as Annie threw her arms around them both, kissing both her daughter and Martin.

"Oh my babies! My poor babies!" cried Annie desperately as she hugged them both. Though Annie wasn't Martin's biological mother, he knew she saw him as one of her own and so did Eric.

Eric led his wife away back into the shelter as he sensed the couple wanted to be alone for a moment.

"Ruthie! Oh Ruthie, you're s-so stupid!" cried Martin as he cradled Ruthie, his tears falling atop her head.

"I k-know, I know," wept Ruthie as she snuggled into his chest. "I'm s-so sorry,"

"No I am, f-for everything I p-put you through," stammered Martin as he kissed her on the forehead, before his eyes wandered to her lips, before he let his thumb trail across them, "I love you, I h-hope you k-know that."

Ruthie sniffled before caressing his cheek, "I know that now,"

Martin smiled before he trailed his thumb across her lips once more, "May I?"

Ruthie giggled a little, he was so polite. She grinned before sniffling again, "Of course, I've w-want you to d-do that for as l-long as I can r-remember."

Martin smiled before he shyly leant forward, brushing his lips against her soft ones. They rubbed noses for a while before they finally shared a soul-searing kiss. Both were oblivious to the 'awws' that came from the crowd, which was still watching, by the doorway.

"_I was wrong after all. How could I have been so selfish? He may have hurt me last time, but he didn't mean to and I know now that he loves me too. He's the young man I've always wanted, he's my murderer and my love."_

_**A/N: Ok, sorry I know that was really bad but I had to get the idea out of my head. The whole roof garden thing was my imagination and so was most of it so yea, I don't think the Camdens have a roof garden anyway. Sorry if the story seemed rushed and pls leave a review and tell me what you think.**_


End file.
